Kindred spirits

I recently came across 'my stash ' of “Anne of Green gables” series by L.M. Montgomery. I was introduced to it in class 7. The story is set in Prince Edward Island in Canada and tells the story of an orphan girl Anne. Fiery and independent, the red headed Anne is an eternal optimist; seeing beauty everywhere and in everybody around her...well at least, most of the time.

She breaks into sudden “spells of insanity” completely lost in “the land of dreams” where “the land is tender with golden green baby leaves; where there is an emerald mist on the woods and where the valleys are full of fairy lights at dawn”. I understand her completely, for I have these “sudden spells” too; only I didn’t know I was a “kindred spirit” till I read the book.

 When ever I feel like the world around me is losing its charm and I am bogged down by “mundane activities” I return to its pages and rediscover the joy of enjoying simple pleasures

• enjoying  a cup of hot' masala chai' while devouring decor magazines and glossy  cook books.
• browsing to my heart’s content, in a book store
• a cheery bunch of flowers on my desk (yes, I buy myself  flowers)
•  crisp, freshly laundered and ironed, lavender scented sheets to snuggle into, after        a warm  bath

         (Of course, I should not have anything to do with the laundering and ironing part) 

• Spending an afternoon doing absolutely nothing (‘ dolce far niente’ literally, sweet   doing nothing. See, there is even a term for it) 

                                     

  

• a gossip session with  cousins/friends in the middle of  the day (Hail whatsapp !)                    
• a big bowl of ice cream all to myself (Baskin Robbins ‘after eight’ chocolate and mint flavour to be exact)

     
“Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things” –Robert Brault

So make some time every day, for life’s simple pleasures.

A wedding story

Weddings are important because they celebrate life and possibilities- Anne Hathaway

Last week our family came together, to celebrate the wedding of the youngest cousin of our generation.

 It was wonderful to see the entire family put their individual lives in ‘pause mode’ and pitch in to ensure that it becomes a truly memorable event.

Life for our family, revolved around the wedding and its related activities. Responsibilities were outlined and delegated with such military precision, that even my driver had his version plan of ‘B’ in case something went wrong. The sister in charge of logistics could rattle off various permutations and combinations of the time, date and place of arrival of various relatives and the person assigned to pick them up, in her sleep.

 The sister and niece (whose dance moves, can give bollywood heroines sleepless nights) choreographed an entire sequence of dance series including almost the entire family. Brothers in law travelled half way across the city, to spend their precious weekends in dance rehearsals. Out of town relatives, practiced their moves under the tutelage of whatsapp videos. Little nephews and nieces practiced their dance steps with a diligence, that made their mothers wonder if they had been doped.

The chat groups buzzed with discussions and it seemed for a while, that the time zones ranging from Melbourne, Atlanta to the Middle East were seamlessly integrated into one single time zone, where all of us had the time to connect with each other.

The wedding itself was a surreal, near perfect event, where people genuinely seemed to relax and enjoy each other’s company; where laughter  and good food flowed in abundance, where the bride found herself cocooned in a circle of affection  and warmth, that made her feel secure within  its confines. What a lovely way to step into a new phase of life.

I guess that is what being a family means-

 We may not have it altogether, but together we have it all (author unknown)

Image courtesy: Dr. J. Jagdish

Of love and lullabies

While I was growing up, one of my favourite TV shows was ‘The Wonder Years’. The series was based on a wonderful thought that has stayed with me ever since I came across it. ‘Memory is a way of holding on to things you love, the things you are, and the things that you never want to lose’

‘Ammumma’, (my maternal grandmother) was an integral part of my growing up years, and continues to be so to this day. We speak almost every day.  Whenever I think of her, the first images  that come to my mind, are the balmy Kerala nights, when we used to lie down side by side for our nightly ritual of storytelling, sprinkled with impromptu cuddling.  It would be the same story every night; but the sound of her voice, the comforting and familiar fragrance of her after bath sandalwood talcum powder, along with the comfortable warmth seeping in from my toes, tucked safely in the soft folds of her sari, lulled me to sleep. Some nights, after the story, she sang lullabies ; songs that she had grown up with, songs scented with fragrant sandalwood sachets of memories.

The soothing sound of’ ammumma’ singing in her slightly out of tune voice, is one of my most cherished childhood memories. My favourite lullaby was **“omana thingal kidavo..”  Some nights, when I put my son to bed, singing that ever green lullaby, I close my eyes and can almost feel ammumma’s plump slightly calloused fingers, softly stroking my hair.

‘Ammumma’ was a wonderful cook and my sister and I often awoke to paper thin dosas, sizzling on the griddle, oozing with ghee. We often lost count of the number of dosas we devoured, and they disappeared quickly, along with melt in your mouth, freshly ground coconut chutney; ‘Ammumma’ did not know any fancy cooking techniques. All the ingredients she used were simple, earthy ones, often made in her own kitchen from scratch. Freshly churned homemade butter, melting on steaming hot mounds of rice, delicately flavoured fish curry, tart, with just the right amount of heat, butter milk spiked with ginger and cumin. Relatives often asked her, how all her dishes turned out so well and she would simply smile and attribute her culinary success to a secret ingredient, passed on to her by her mother.

Some days before I was to be married, ‘ammumma’ was combing out my hair when she casually remarked “Always remember, even if you are serving a cup of tea, do it with love. You must have the desire to see the people who are eating your food, satiated and content. Good food is one of the very few things in life, that have the power to genuinely satisfy a person. That is the secret ingredient that makes the simplest of dishes ,seem like a gourmet meal”

Thank you ammumma, for flavoring my life with the sweetness of your love.

*Omanathinkal Kidavo (Malayalam: ഓമന തിങ്കള്‍ കിടാവോ ) is a lullaby in Malayalam that was composed by Irayimman Thampi on the birth of Maharajah Swathi Thirunal of Travancore. To date, it remains one of the most popular lullabies in the Malayalam language.[1]

The lullaby was composed by Thampi at the request of the then ruler of Travancore, Maharani Gowri Lakshmi Bayi, to put the baby King Swathi Thirunal to sleep. His birth was a long awaited event for the royal family since it faced the threat of being annexed into British India under the Doctrine of Lapse for the want of a male heir. The lyrics of the poem reflect this sense of relief when it refers to the baby as a 'treasure from God' and 'the fruit of the tree of fortune'.^[2][3]

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Omanathinkal_Kidavo

You can listen to the lullaby here:

:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mzh5CmmXfis

Diary of a beautification survivor

“There is no flesh to massage, ma” drones the lady who towers above me like a WWF wrestler, in response to my muffled yelps. I look at her and try to figure out why I had let the pretty lady with the ‘too- long- to be- true’ eyelashes, sweet talk me into accepting the ‘too- good- to be- true’ combo offer, at a branded salon, that has recently opened in my neighborhood.

I nod at the masseur apologetically, vowing to order a double cheese burger for dinner. The lady having given up hope has moved on to my head and is the process of kneading it, with every ounce of energy that she possesses.  I protest feebly, telling her that I am prone to migraine attacks, upon which she claims to have the perfect technique to cure it. Before I can resist, she yanks my head to one side and begins hammering it with her fingers.  I may have discovered some additional stars in the Milky Way, during those five minutes.

Having being pounded into a semi delirious state, I find myself being led to the’ facial area’, where I am assured (by the same pretty lady with ‘too- long- to be- true’ eyelashes) that I will glow like a 100 watts bulb, by the end of the procedure.  I lie down and close my eyes, determined to enjoy at least one procedure of this ‘super value combo offer’.

 To give her due credit, this masseur did have fingers that were magical, and I was drifting into a blissful slumber when suddenly, her colleague drops in. For the rest of the session, I am subjected to a barrage  of  information about the masseur’s mother in law so much so, that i can  qualify to be her official biographer (if her mother in law ever needs one)

I stumble out (hopefully glowing like a 100 watt bulb) for the last service, pedicure. I am asked to relax, as the pedicurist immerses my leg into a basin of scalding water. I yank my legs out and am ready to bring out my choicest profanities, when I am served tea along with a glossy magazine.

 Now, I am a firm believer in “where there is tea, there is hope” saying. Soon, I am swooning over Hrithik Roshan in the magazine and enjoying my spell of sereni’tea’, when the pedicurist proudly shows me my toe nails, painted a vicious  neon red.  I manage to ask for the bill and run out, before I give a whole new meaning to the term, ‘beauty and the beast.’

Image source: www.cartoonstock.com

“ 

Pyaaz, aloo, bhindi and a super hero!

“There isn’t even an onion in the house” exclaims my husband scornfully. He has decided to grace the kitchen, with one his rare bi-annual visits, and is apparently making himself a (gourmet) omelette.

“Why can’t you stock these things?”  he continues, the scornful tone beginning to show tinges of sarcasm. At this stage, I am beginning  to visualise how this ‘revenge drama ‘will unfold.

Rewind to the day before:  Husband asks wife to prepare prawn curry. Wife prepares prawn curry. Husbands tucks into prawn curry and all is well with the world. Wife (who incidentally has a heart of gold) generously gives away the rest of the prawn curry to the maid. Husband finds out and swears revenge.

So with my housekeeping skills under the scanner, (the best way to get back at me, is to point out flaws in my housekeeping) I decide to knock on my neighbours door, with a steel bowl and beg, borrow or steal some onions.  It turns out that I don’t have to do any of the above mentioned activities, as the neighbour does not have any onions.  Seeing my petrified face, she informs me that the apartment has a lady, who sells vegetables within its premises every evening and the vegetables are organic to boot .She mentions something about a yoga teacher, who can cure anxiety attacks.

My vote of thanks speech almost makes her tear up; apparently she has never seen anyone so grateful for onions before.

I whizz down the stairs and there she is; the goddess of herbs, greens and...Onions!  I notice her smile even before I notice the onions.  It is one of those smiles, that can transform a person’s face completely; like somehow the facial features have rearranged themselves, to create something arresting. She smiles at me with her eyes, the smile punctuated with deep dimples on either cheek.

The vegetable lady and I soon become good friends. She keeps aside her best produce for me and even calls me up to warn me, that the last of the spring onions are being eyed by the bossy Mrs’ so and so’ and that I better hurry up if I want to serve my “mister’ ‘Chinese rice' for dinner or that the ‘palak’ bunch is being carried away by the uncle on the third floor, who never smiles.

Soon, I find out that the vegetable lady is everyone’s friend .With her ready smiles and positive nature, she has a kind word for everyone, enquiring after their kids or their family. Whenever we meet, the first thing she tells me is to smile. I tell her that it is difficult to smile, when you are in the middle of a project with an impossible deadline, a full blown migraine attack, a sick child, or whatever  my ‘excuse- to- not- smile -for –the- day’ is.

 She nods her head, and tells me ,”.. but you have such a beautiful smile. What a waste.”

I sit with her sometimes in the evenings, watching my son play and she tells me little nuggets from her life; how she was widowed at twenty three, how she has singlehandedly brought up her kids, how proud she is, that her youngest is now an engineer. Not once does she sound bitter at the blows life has dealt her with, nor does she pity herself. My admiration for this lady, who seems to have mastered the ‘art of living’ grows day by day.

Then out of the blue, she stops coming, her phone perpetually switched off. After a couple of weeks,she calls me and informs me that she is back. I go down with my basket and I am greeted with smiles and she admonishes me on how much weight I have lost. I tell her about my aches and pains and migraine . Just as I pay her and am about to leave, I casually enquire about her absence. “Oh nothing, ma” she waves me off. “I was at the hospital, taking my course of chemo” “Wwhat?” I manage to sputter out. “Oh! That radiation- vadiation stuff’” she explains.” I am in the advanced stage right, so doctor said we will try this and see”

I stand there, rooted to the spot, with tears streaming down my face as she quietly takes my hand in hers.” We all have to go one day ma, I still have this day, this evening with you”  

We all grow up with stories and movies of super heroes and wanting to be like them. I am honoured to have met mine today.

A knotty affair

“Amma, amma, I have to get something for school tomorrow. It is very important”. At that moment, as I put the TV on pause mode, for the fifth time in half an hour, and look at Nigella Lawson frozen in the frame, with the cake batter precariously floating in mid air, I fully understand why some people choose to send their kids to boarding school. I think my son has a great career future, in the world of SEO’s. He displays amazing skill in his choice of words, when he needs to grab my attention. At this point, only the words ‘school’ and’ urgent’ have the power to pull me out my ‘nigelessima’

“I need Scooby strings” he announces. Then, seeing that he was getting nowhere with me, he sighs and proceeds to explain,( in a voice he reserves for toddlers and his ‘slow’ mother) about these supposedly miraculous strings, that  has taken his class by storm .

Before I know it, we are in the small stationery shop, which (like we put it in my mother tongue Malayalam,) stocks everything, except your parents.  I try to tell the bored looking shop keeper, in my severely fractured Tamil, what we are looking for. After a bout each, of explanations and sign languages, the poor man still looks at me, as if I am giving him a lecture in Swahili. On a sudden brain wave, I whip out my phone (they don’t call it smart phone for nothing) and show him the images of what we are looking for.  He looks at it and asks me scornfully “Oh! Scooby strings, aa?” (Oh! did you want Scooby strings?)

He immediately whips out a huge box from a corner of the shop, already bursting at the seams, with precariously balanced boxes of various shapes and sizes. He hands it to my delighted son with a look of empathy on his face, for having to deal with a mother with questionable IQ levels, on a daily basis. I head back home with a very happy boy, armed with Scooby strings in all colours known to human kind.

It turns out that procuring the Scooby strings, was the easier part. Apparently, making various knots out of these strings is no child’s play.  Having a fair idea about his mother ‘knotting’ skills, Nachikaet promptly parks himself in front of the laptop, to watch some YouTube tutorials.    I watch in amazement, as little girls with pigtails and two missing teeth, demonstrate various knots, like experts. I knot, loop and pull till my hands are entangled in a knot so bad, that even Houdini would balk at the idea of opening it.

So things are looking very bleak for Nachikaet, until his dad comes home and there is a twist in this very knotty affair. As with me, Nachikaet knows the right buttons to push, when it comes to his father too. So with a few subtle references to the difficulty levels and how his ‘poor’ mother is still unsuccessful even after repeated attempts, I walk into the room, to find both father and son huddled in front of the laptop, knotting away furiously.

  To say they are hooked, is to put matters rather mildly. They can be heard, holding serious discussions on why butterfly stitch is superior to Chinese staircase or what went wrong in the fourth step of the box knot. I am presented with bracelets in various shades of neon pinks, blues and greens and even emotionally blackmailed into wearing one for a party. Phone calls are left unattended (sorry, my husband is unavailable at the moment. He is, err..’ knotting’!!).The plumber (who comes  to show my husband some samples) is  sent back unceremoniously, and asked to consult me. I mumble something about having to make a phone call, when the plumber asks me sheepishly, whether Saar likes stitching.

 But it is  when my husband refuses to look up from his Scooby strings, even after I inform him, that a rerun of  'Face off’ is  playing on TV, that I know these are  no ordinary strings.  

According to him, they are a great way to boost his creativity and a great stress buster to boot. Last heard, Nachikaet is planning to make me a belt! I have knots in my stomach, just thinking about it.

A bit of me..

“There, that’s my son” I pointed out, to the woman next to me at the crowded school gate. I looked at him through the eyes of the woman next to me. What would she see? A thin boy with dirt on his trousers, cheeks reddened with the heat and a cheeky smile? Would she see his eyes which twinkled with mischief? Would she notice his lopsided smile which reached all the way to his eyes and was punctuated by deep dimples on either cheek? Would she guess that this little boy has been the centre of my universe for the past nine years?

My “little” boy turns nine this August, and I marvel at the change that he has brought in me as a person.  A little soul placed into my arms and along with it, the power to mould him in infinite ways. To think that I was bestowed with that sort of power was both thrilling and terrifying, all at once.

What I was totally unprepared for, was the way he would make me feel. A feeling which made no sense at all when you think about it logically; but felt so right. Why would I for instance, want to give a tight slap to the well meaning nurse, who was vaccinating my child to protect him from potentially dangerous illness?  It was magical to give yourself to someone so fully, expecting nothing in return.

We have in the course of these nine years formed a bond that I will cherish for a life time. His baby features are giving way to more boyish looks and his little world is expanding at a pace which I am finding hard to keep up with. I will soon find myself at the fringes of his life and I am preparing myself to gracefully step into the side lines, but always a call away.

But for now, I relish the little things that still make him ‘my little boy’. The wetness on my cheek that remains from his kiss, even after he  disappears through the school gates, the look of delight on his face when he finds his favourite cheese raisin sandwich in the car on the way back home..

Happy Birthday Kanna. I see a little more of myself in you, with each passing year. God bless you now and always.

                                          

                    

A slice of childhood- Memories of my grandmother

It was one of those days when you had to have mangoes in every meal; right from a lusciously thick milkshake the colour of daffodils, sweetened with honey at breakfast, to the tangy and sweet ‘pazhamanga kalan’ (a sweet and tart curry made with ripe mangoes simmered in a yogurt sauce) with which you douse your steaming hot rice for lunch.  Mangoes always bring back memories of my paternal grandmother from whom I learnt the art of eating a mango without having to use a knife. We called her ‘valliamma’, which is a term ordinarily used in my mother tongue Malayalam for addressing one’s aunt, more specifically mother’s elder sister. But to us, her grand children, she was anything but ordinary. I can picture her still, sitting crossed legged in her starched linen ‘mundu veshti’ which smelt of talcum powder and mellow sunshine, holding the reins of  my father’s sprawling ancestral home in her gentle yet firm grip.

valliamma and her grand kids

Valliamma always ensured that each of us children felt special. Whenever we visited, there would always be everyone’s favourite dishes on the menu, as if it was the most normal thing. Fresh   succulent ‘poozhan’ (a river fish common to the region), crisp and fried to perfection for lunch; or a robust, rustic egg masala curry in a rich mahogany hued coconut gravy, which you could mop up with thick slices of crusty bread. There was always that special dish to perk up your meal.

I remember waking up in the morning to her soothing voice, as she sat at the foot of her bed, fresh after her morning bath, chanting prayers. I loved watching her get dressed, readying herself to face the day, and if I was particularly lucky she would let me help her. She would sit on her bed and call for her ‘vanity case’, an antique rosewood box which she would delicately slide, to reveal a mirror cleverly concealed within its womb. I would then play her ‘lady- in- waiting’, handing out whatever she asked for. She had a creamy porcelain complexion and I would watch her massage her face in swift, deft movements and there would always be a smidgen of cream for me to practice my massaging skills. Afterwards we would examine our glowing cheeks in the mirror, faces pressed together.

 But it is during Vishu (the Malayalee New Year festival) time that I still miss her the  most. Whenever I go through my ‘make-do’ Vishu preparations;  buying yellow flowers to make do for the golden hued ‘konna flowers’ or getting a ‘instant’  payasam mix to make do for the creamy sweet ‘semiya payasam’ fragrant with cardamom and speckled with plump golden raisins and slivers of cashew nuts fried in ghee, I think of my valliamma sitting in her enormous pooja room and arranging an elaborate ‘vishu kani’ , with a large urli (brass urn) polished until it glistened like gold, brimming with seasonal fruits and vegetables, gold ornaments, an antique ‘valkannadi’ and ‘konna’ flowers.

The pooja room would be transformed into a magical place with flickering brass lamps and deities adorned with brocades and flowers. It was to this room that she would take us at the crack of dawn, one by one, with our eyes closed and we would open our eyes and take in this wonderful sight. What a lovely way to step into a brand new year.

One of the last memories I have of valliamma which I still cherish, is of us going through my wedding trousseau. Too frail and sick to actually come out for shopping, she insisted that I show her whatever I purchased. I can still picture her childlike glee as she opened each packet and fingered the rich silks and brocades. She passed away just after my engagement. I know she would have loved to see me as a bride and I would give anything just to see that look of love mingled with a tinge of pride, as I stand before her in all my bridal finery; the same look I had seen in her eyes all those years ago when we pressed our faces together to look into her mirror.

Review of Simba bags

Steffi Doll, Spiderman and WWE Superstar John Cena printed bags from Simba toys is a good value for money deal, that combines functionality and affordability. Printed with a colourful picture of Steffi doll , Spiderman and WWE superstar John Cena, this bag is sure to be a hit among boys and girls alike.

It boasts of three spacious zippered compartments which will ensure that your child can pack all his books(plus other 'stuff') in an organized way. No more leaky water bottles spoiling your child's books;this funky bag has two netted bottle holders on the sides which will ensure that your kid can stay hydrated throughout the day without the worry of spilling water.

The straps of this cute bag come with padded support, so that the weight of the bag is distributed evenly on the little shoulders of its owner while its light weight design ensures that it is easy to handle.

Scope for improvement: I felt that the back of the bag could have some padding as well, so that it is easier in little backs; also the material could have been a little thicker as there are chances of it being torn.

Overall a great buy, which I am sure will satisfy both the parents and kids.

Mocomag - a complete online magazine for kids

Mocomag review

Mocomag is indeed the coolest online magazine for kids. My eight year old son is hooked on to it and it is one addiction I don’t want him to stop. It beautifully injects learning with large doses of fun and makes sure it is presented in a format that is interesting for kids. The simple easy to follow language and the colorful illustrations ensure that the kids are able to follow the information provided, with minimal adult assistance.

What sets this magazine apart is the way that technology has been cleverly used to create a visually interactive content. Each issue has a specific theme that runs through the length of the issue. It also covers a whole plethora of topics, ranging from history mysteries, quiz and news tidbits to easy to make recipes, crafts and stories. The riddles, comic strips and informative videos that it is sprinkled with make it a sheer delight for kids to read. All in all a fantastic read for kids and highly recommended.

you can read their latest issue here:  http://mocomi.com/issue-18/

Share the language of love

“Love only grows by sharing. You can only have more for yourself by giving it away to others” 

Brian Tracy.

In the times that we live in today, when the concept of ‘I’ ‘me’ ‘myself’ seems to be the new age mantra; the art of sharing is one of the greatest lessons that we as parents can impart to our children. I am honored to feature on my blog, this wonderful initiative called ‘Johnson’s baby share the language of love’. Johnson and Johnson, which is synonymous with quality baby care products across the globe, has partnered with the well known NGO Goonj  to share this language of love with less fortunate children across the country.

What the campaign stands for:

In keeping with Johnson’s core philosophy of “care”, this campaign aims create a forum for the less fortunate children in our society, to experience “the joys of childhood”.  Working hand in hand with Goonj who shares the same philosophy, this campaign encourages mothers’ to share their child’s old or unused articles with those less fortunate.

What happens once you contribute?

Once the drop boxes at various centers in the city are filled up for the day, they are taken to the Goonj collection centers where they are cleaned sorted and pressed. They are then transported to the nearest Goonj centers and distributed among the needy.

How you can make a difference

Any object which you can contribute be it an old toy, book or games can bring a smile and brighten up a child’s day somewhere. All you need to do is collect your stuff and take it to the nearest collection center in your city. This year’s collection centers are being set up in 14 cities across India including Mumbai Delhi Bangalore Kolkata Hyderabad, Chennai, Ahmadabad, Cuttack, Pune etc over three successive weekends. Collection drives will also be initiated in 170 residential societies in 5 cities. There are also various touch points through which you can contribute to this campaign. Give a missed call on 1800 267 6767/ 1800 267 2222 to get details about your nearest collection center .You could also check out their face book community which is over 4,50,000 strong.

So join in today to speak the language of love, for no words can say more clearly that you care.

The art of leaving

Leaving a place you called home for nearly a decade, is not easy.   Possessions and memories coexist in bountiful abundance.  It is amazing how you begin to notice little things about your world, that you hitherto took for granted, when there is an expiry date attached. A pomegranate tree laden with luscious crimson fruit in a far corner of the apartment garden, which makes you feel almost guilty for not having noticed it before. The way the morning sun drenches your living room in a buttery golden light, that gives it an almost ethereal tinge. A pencil mark on a bedroom wall indicating your child’s height, when he was still at that delicious age where you could carry him around; the way a little apartment  housed our joys and sorrows, our hopes and fears, our little rituals of sustenance, our little indulgences and pleasures.

Bangalore for me, will always be a special place where I was privy to my child’s wonder years, where I learnt the art of leaving behind the dispiriting  ‘why’s’  and ‘what if’s’ and befriending  the elusive “why not’s’.  

I leave behind a bit of myself here, as I prepare to discover a whole new world, learn new things and more importantly be willing to unlearn old ways; for as Joseph Campbell quoted  “We must be willing to let go of the life we planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.”

‘Home’ from now on, is the lovely coastal city of Chennai and I look forward to this leg of the exciting journey called life.