“There, that’s my son” I pointed out, to the woman next to me at the crowded school gate. I looked at him through the eyes of the woman next to me. What would she see? A thin boy with dirt on his trousers, cheeks reddened with the heat and a cheeky smile? Would she see his eyes which twinkled with mischief? Would she notice his lopsided smile which reached all the way to his eyes and was punctuated by deep dimples on either cheek? Would she guess that this little boy has been the centre of my universe for the past nine years?
My “little” boy turns nine this August, and I marvel at the change that he has brought in me as a person. A little soul placed into my arms and along with it, the power to mould him in infinite ways. To think that I was bestowed with that sort of power was both thrilling and terrifying, all at once.
What I was totally unprepared for, was the way he would make me feel. A feeling which made no sense at all when you think about it logically; but felt so right. Why would I for instance, want to give a tight slap to the well meaning nurse, who was vaccinating my child to protect him from potentially dangerous illness? It was magical to give yourself to someone so fully, expecting nothing in return.
We have in the course of these nine years formed a bond that I will cherish for a life time. His baby features are giving way to more boyish looks and his little world is expanding at a pace which I am finding hard to keep up with. I will soon find myself at the fringes of his life and I am preparing myself to gracefully step into the side lines, but always a call away.
But for now, I relish the little things that still make him ‘my little boy’. The wetness on my cheek that remains from his kiss, even after he disappears through the school gates, the look of delight on his face when he finds his favourite cheese raisin sandwich in the car on the way back home..
Happy Birthday Kanna. I see a little more of myself in you, with each passing year. God bless you now and always.